It's not news to most that I have struggled with my mom living with us for the past 2+ years. With her declining health both physically and mentally, I try to remind myself that this semi-shell of a woman that takes up residence in my home used to be a loving, generous, and kind human being. Don't get me wrong, I don't wish to paint a picture of some demonic monster that sits and yells at my kids. She means well, but it shows that she has given up and would rather not be bothered by anyone or anything. Suggesting to her to call a friend or go outside for some fresh air is like telling her a funny joke. She scoffs and quickly changes the subject. She's become really good at this subject changing business. I tell people who want to hear the long story all about the adventures of our home. How we cope with two obnoxious, barking dogs who practice hardly any manners at all. We can't discipline them because when our backs are turned, my mom is there to reverse it by ena...
I have taken on a lot in the last year plus some. It is what I feel is my daughterly duty, my due diligence. I've made decisions that I and my husband have felt is reasonable to all parties involved, taking great care in considering feelings, health, and emotions with all those we live with and have relationships with. Yesterday I sat, feeling despair, a lack of motivation, hopelessness, fear, anger, defeat, depression, fatigue, thinking that I just needed to give myself a day of rest. Sit and read and let the day roll on while the rest of my family buzzed around with their daily activities. Surely tomorrow will present itself better. I will be well-rested with this day just for myself. I will rise early, exercise, eat right, feel rejuvenated, go into work and do the task I've been putting off because I loathe it so much. Heck, I will even clean my scuzzy bathroom that I literally haven't cleaned in over a month. Okay, let's be honest...over two months. After that I...